Madhumita is currently playing the role of Design Director at Myntra. Prior to joining Myntra, she was working in several Fortune 500 companies like Atlassian, Honeywell, Nationwide, and Philips specialising in B2C and B2B domains. She completed her Bachelors and Masters degrees in Physics from Visva Bharati University, West Bengal. When she was caught in a dilemma on whether to pursue Ph.D. or seek a double Masters in Computer Science, the second triumphed once she got an admission in IIT Kharagpur to study Computer Science. Although she started her career like many others as IT developer but eventually she moved into User Experience design. She comes with over 20 years of experience building and leading high-performing design studios across multiple countries. She is passionate about design leadership, design thinking, and mentoring young designers to build their craft and skills. On a personal front, she works on sustainable living working with local potters in Tamil Nadu to popularise the use of terracotta pots for gardening and farming.

As we know mentorship is a commonly used term in career development today. In today’s professional rat-race, it is proven that strong mentor-mentee relationships can play a great role in finding the right path and achieving our professional goals. To know more about this journey, Science and I team reached out to Madhumita to have a conversation with her to get insights from her personal experiences in the journey of being a mentee and a mentor in her successful design career spanning over two decades.

At  which stage of your career you felt the need of finding a mentor formally?

Being Indian, having a guru was nothing new. Parents, teachers, elders were all gurus by
default since childhood. During my early career I saw my manager as my mentor. The common
factor in all these was that they had chosen me. Only later on stage, did I realize the importance
of choosing your mentors. That happened after 8 years into my career when I realized the
difference between coaches, mentors and sponsors.

Why did you feel the need of mentors? How did you reach out to the mentors, was it through an ongoing program at your work or you went for it proactively at a personal level?

Early on, I felt I needed a mentor to help me sustain in my career. Later on, I figured out that I needed multiple mentors to focus on different aspects of my career. Currently I have mentors for craft, woman leadership, career growth and people management. They evolved over time as I moved up in the career ladder. My managers often acted as coaches directing me to succeed in my current role. The sponsors saw potential in me and helped promote my achievements and nominated me for evolving roles. Mentors on the other hand were invested in me for my growth irrespective of my current role or company with a long term focus.

I got my first mentor when my manager was leaving and wanted me to get support from another leader who knew me, but was never going to be my manager. The need at that time was to get guidance on how to navigate at a job without an invested boss. Moving onwards, often I have approached people at a personal level after working with them directly or indirectly. Thus many of my mentors are my ex-bosses or skip level leaders in other organizations. 

What is your experience of being a mentee although you are a senior professional now?

Mentor mentee relationship is a two way affair. The mentor needs to feel that their time is valued and well utilized by the mentee. It took me many years to form a good structure to a mentoring session. In the beginning it was more about learning about each other and sharing day to day scenarios. Over the years my mentoring sessions have reached a structure. I usually start with a conversation about their work and family. This makes the session not just about me. Then I give a short update on my actions and learnings based on the last conversation. This gives the relationship a continuity. Lastly I have the topic to discuss posed as a question. I take time to frame this question so that I am not processing my thoughts as I am narrating the question. Instead, they know I have processed it and this question is something that I couldn’t figure out with my current knowledge. I make notes and often end the conversation on what’s been my key takeaway and what actions I will take.

What are the tips you would like to give to your younger self about finding a mentor and building a relationship with a mentor?

Finding a mentor is not equal to being liked by your mentor. It helps, however it’s okay to have a mentor who is invested in you but may not always be saying things in your favor. They will point out mistakes and give you perspective that challenges your assumptions. Even if you are uncomfortable, it’s a much safer environment. Also not all experienced people can be good mentors for you. They might be great for others. However it may not work for you. There are couple of reasons where you can feel uncomfortable. For example, you may not have concrete topics to discuss, your mentor is disinterested and/or you are unsure if you could be honest with this person yet. What has worked with me is sharing the emotions with the person. People respond to emotions better than logic. Another trick which has often worked is to give your relationship a block of time like 3 sessions in 3 months. If within this time things don’t ease out, it’s better to call that out. Finally, adjusting the time to connect also matters. I have found a monthly connect work very well. In the early career days, I have tried once in 3 weeks too. 

Generally, we become aware of mentoring pretty late in life, how can we seek a mentor earlier in our career?

Mentorship is crucial at the stage where one is independently taking decisions in an environment which is new or different. So one can have mentors for career path discussions, long term skill development and management. These facts are applicable across all fields. During the early career stages, often manager or your skip level managers play dual role of coaches and mentors. However ideally mentors are better when they are not in reporting line. So a senior member in the team can be a great start as a mentor. Even a senior from another team works. It’s not good to have a mentor who is way high up from your current position. They may not be able to relate to your current challenges than someone who is perhaps a level or 2 higher than your current position.

We mostly hear about positive examples of mentoring, what can be the pitfalls in a mentor-mentee relationship? Any examples?

I once had a mentor who was extremely knowledgeable, and had been known to be a great mentor. However he lacked the motivation to support me. We tried to have a couple of sessions. Even with all the preparation it was hard for us to get into a smooth conversation. We both agreed to drop the relationship since there was a difference in motivation. 

In another case, I approached a mentor. She wanted the relationship to be milestone centric, short-term and transactional. Considering I was looking for mentors for the long term which was not very direct, I discontinued the commitment. In this case, our thinking styles were very different. 

In another instance, I approached a mentor, who was not keen to commit to a relationship even though they were heavily invested in me. We chose to keep the relationship ad-hoc. I reach out to him only on a need basis via emails.

When did you realize that you are ready to be a mentor to others? Please let us know from your experience about you being a mentor that turned out great, and one which did not work out. And why?

It wasn’t sudden, rather a journey. People approached me first. Some setup time and some wanted to keep it ad-hoc. We needed to figure out as a mentor and mentee on what worked and what didn’t, and even cut off when it became redundant.

What is your general approach when you are asked by others to mentor you?

It’s a simple three step process. Appreciation, Objective and Expectation setting. I start with a simple thanks to show my gratitude. Then I ask them what kind of topics they are keen to converse with. I call-out the importance of mutual respect for time and thoughts. And finally I set expectations that I am not a therapist nor their guardian angel rather a co-thinker.

What do you suggest others do to leverage the mentor mentee relationship at its best?

Start with an objective and be open about your mentoring needs. As a mentee, we should not be afraid of being vulnerable and provide a true account of the situation to our mentor. This will help in setting clear expectations of what we are seeking from our mentor. Agree on the frequency and mode of communication and nurture the relationship with honesty and gratitude. All these needs to be clear on the first few interactions to focus on the actual points to discuss. Also don’t feel scared to disrupt. Not all mentorship works nor does it have to be formal. Most discussions become fruitful when you talk about real life scenarios. For example, discuss about a specific challenge that you are facing to tackle a problem, this will help your mentor to be able to relate and share from their experiences. Otherwise, conversations may tend to be theoretical.

How the role of a mentor is different from a coach, an influencer, or a sponsor in our lives? 

Coaches will leave the decision making to yourself by asking you relevant questions about the scenario. Influencers are not invested in you as a person. They influence a broad set of people with you being one of them. Sponsors recognise your potential for who you are and what you are capable of doing. Sponsors can recommend you to their contacts and can bring new opportunities. Your sponsors like your skip level manager or a peer may speak for you. But they need not spend time with you to improve your skills.  Mentors may or may not promote you but can provide you direction from their experiences. Another interesting thing is that the same person may interchange their role between influencing, mentoring and sponsoring over a period of time. 

What do you suggest to people who would like to find a mentor but being introvert in nature or the fear of being judged or misunderstood stops them from going for it?

I agree that fear can be overpowering. However if the foundation is respect, then you should respect the rejection as easily as the acceptance. Any relationship needs time to evolve, grow and gain trust. While you should try to make the best of the mentor and mentee relationship, focus on creating a safe space to be able to share concerns, frustrations and honest conversations. The best starting point to approach a person for mentorship is to state what you want from them, why you want the help from them and how you will take forward the relationship. As an example, if you are approaching a mentor for your career counselling you could start saying that the person is in a position that you would like to reach in a couple of years. Another example could be, you may mention about your strength in certain skills however you need help on stakeholder management. Considering you have observed her doing so and succeeding multiple times, you would like to hear her perspectives on scenarios that are happening in your life.

Please give 3 critical tips which have enabled you to continue your journey in finding mentors at different stages of your career and 3 tips that you try to follow yourself as a mentor.

To be a mentee

• Be clear about the objective of the mentorship relation
• Work hard to make the best of the time spent with the mentor
• Don’t feel bad to end a relationship that is not working

To be a mentor

• Be kind to your mentee. It takes courage to become vulnerable and share issues
• Give examples from your experience. Don’t give theoretical answers. Instead share reference materials
• Don’t give them fish, teach them fishing! Provide information to grow their skills not always solve their problem